Oh, nerds of Nashville. By now, you know how we love you so. After these five beautiful months of getting to know you via your Craigslist quests for romance, we feel like you’re the internet siblings we’ve never known. Or maybe we do know you, in which case, WE‘RE SO INCREDIBLY SORRY, BRO.
Regardless of our affiliations, we feel it’s our duty as fellow nerds with internet connections to reach out to you when Craigslist conundrums such as this take place. Today, we’d like to bring our aid to a young pug lover from Bellevue who wishes to meet a “loser” of a lady. Ouch, dude. Ouch.
Person of Craigslist: Pug-Loving Chubby Chaser.
Category: Men Seeking Losers
Who is He:
Nerdness to the Nth – 24 (Bellevue)
Date: 2011-02-15, 11:21AM CST
You gotta be nerdy for us to work out. And also a bit of a loser. I say this because I’m a loser, so both of us being losers would really help out. Dead end job, living with parent(s), collect something stupid, these are all pluses in my eyes. If your idea of a good time is romanticism while playing Soul Calibur 2, followed by American Dad on Netflix, then we just may have something here. Its pretty important that you also love dogs. We won’t be cool if you don’t like dogs. At all. Especially pugs. I FREAKIN’ love pugs.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a chubby chaser. Mind you I myself am not in perfect shape. I work out on a regular basis, but also, can’t say no to Skittles. I mean who can? It’s the fuckin’ rainbow and you knooooooooow you wanna taste it.
If you believe in any sort of, like, Super God, I’m afraid that’s a deal breaker. It’s fine to think of the universe as some sort of cosmic entity or that there is some greater force or realm, but if you’re trying to tell me about people turning into pillars of salt or how a guy sat under a tree for weeks, that’s just not the kinda crap I’m buyin’. I mean REALLY. Two of every animal? Come on you guys, seriously. Come on.
I think its kinda obvious I love video games. As should you. And not just like, Rock Band and GTA. I mean REAL video games. Castlevania, King of Fighters, Lunar, and so on. I think all the other nerdsentials are also there. Animation/anime, cards, Star Wars, etc.
Bonus points if you’ve been touched by his noodly appendage.
Conclusion: We’ve begun to realize that there are three different types of Craigslist posters. There’s the vast majority of us who use it to find an apartment or buy a stereo or horde as much free stuff as we can fit into the back of our roommate’s truck. Then there’s the people who use it for clandestine hook-ups who were seriously bummed about the death of the Adult Services section for reasons differing from why we were bummed. Then you’ve got people like this — the hypernerd.
The hypernerd is a mythical beast that only lives on the Internet and on the fringes of your high school. You know the kind. The cats who traced anime stills into massive binders and were smug jerks behind everyone’s back despite being massive dweebs. The people who wore tails to school. This dude. We fancy ourselves to be the Dr. Phils of our four block radius in East Nashville, but some sometimes we got nothin’. Sorry guy, we hop you find a lady who thinks she’s a loser and hates the big G as much as you do.
// Photo by Madalena Lesles. We do love pugs too though. How could you not? Look at that face!