We’re not sure how to feel about the grand opening of the Chick-Fil-A in the Nashville West shopping complex on Charlotte. On one hand, this is ground zero for as many free chicken sandwiches as you can possibly cram in your face before someone tells you to stop. That’s the kind of American spirit this blog was built on! (Also, free packs of American Spirits). We wouldn’t be doing our jobs that nobody asked us to do if we weren’t telling you where to scam some free sandwiches on the reg.

However! It is a well-known fact that Chick-Fil-A’s sandwiches are seasoned with gay panic and we are emphatically not down with that. Also, our hot minute spent working in Cool Springs proved to us that the only people who are willing to sit in a Chik-Fil-A drive-thru line for 20 minutes are people with stick figure family stickers on the backs of their SUVs and we do not wish to be party to that demographic.

All that being said, we think it’s probably fine to eat Chick-Fil-A as long as you don’t pay for it. And here’s your chance. First of all, there’s going to be some kind of ridiculous fast food block party — can you guys imagine if McDonalds or Burger King opened up and threw a block party? It’d be mega weird, right? Right. — on Wednesday, starting at 6 p.m. at 6500 Charlotte Ave. Something called “The Rubyz” is playing, which sounds just awful. The relevant portion of the festivities is that there’s a limited amount of free sandwiches.

If you really hate yourself (or would like to #occupychickfila), you also have the option of sleeping outside the store like a hobo, in hopes of being one of the first 100 customers. These few, proud, brave schmucks will get 52 free sandwich combos — one per week for a year. And all it will cost is your dignity and possibly a trip to the hospital when you get pneumonia. But hey, free sandwich. To get in on that madness, you’ll need to arrive at 6 a.m. Wednesday to sign up. Then stay there. For 24 hours. Official rules can be found on the interwebs. Bonus points if you fly a rainbow flag above your tent while you’re camped in a parking lot.

// Photo by Lady Ducayne.

2 Responses to Free Chick-Fil-A Tomorrow, Wednesday in Nashville West

  1. Harold Melvin
    Dec 16, 2011

    u’re just a hatin bitch

    • Dixie
      Dec 21, 2011

      Listen, if we can’t hate on a company that’s actively trying to undermine gay rights, what can we hate on? How stupid Grimace looks? Oh, wait we already do that. n/m

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