With the premiere of this year’s Movies in the Park series staring us down, we knew it was only a matter of time before the Belcourt announced its own free outdoor movies series for the summer. Though it’ll be hard to beat a screening of The Jerk, The Belcourt has a solid line-up of movies in both the family-friendly and the “watch this lady get straight murdered in a hotel room shower” varieties:

Saturday, June 11, Sunset 8:03 p.m.
THE BLUES BROTHERS
Dir. John Landis, USA, 1980, 133min, Rated R
John Belushi and Dan Akroyd stars as Jake and Elwood Blues, two scheming brothers on a mission from God: to get the band back together in order to save the Catholic home where they were raised.

Saturday, July 9, Sunset 8:07 p.m.
DESTRY RIDES AGAIN
Dir. George Marshall, USA, 1939, 94min
Tom Destry (James Stewart) is a tough lawman who doesn’t like guns. And that could pose a problem when a saloon owner and a corrupt mayor plan to rob the local cowpokes blind, with the help of crooked waitress Frenchy (Marlene Dietrich).

Saturday, August 13, Sunset 7:40 p.m.
WARGAMES
Dir. John Badham, USA, 1983, 114min
It’s floppy disks and phone-modem hackery as we relive a classic summer movie of the 80s. After cracking the security of an Air Force supercomputer, a young whiz kid (Matthew Broderick) opens a seemingly innocent video game, which is actually a program intended to mount a preemptive nuclear strike.

Saturday, September 10, Sunset 7:02 p.m.
PSYCHO
Dir. Alfred Hitchcock, USA, 1960, 109min
When larcenous a real estate clerk (Janet Leigh) goes on the lam with a wad of cash, she ends up at the Bates Motel, where twitchy manager and taxidermist Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) cares for his housebound mother. The place seems quirky but fine… until Marion takes a shower.

Hells yeah! Nashville’s favorite movie theater (suck it, Hollywood 27!) is also screening a ton of amazing films indoors, including a midnight screening of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Vanishing Point and Terrence Malick’s entire filmography. The only difference is those movies aren’t free. As always, the theater will screen cartoons, trailers, commercials and other shorts before the movie at sunset.

// Photo by Kevin Barbieux.

If the tattoo and horror festival this weekend isn’t really your speed (more on that tomorrow), maybe you’d feel a bit better about going to a vintage bike show in Five Points? Yes, that’s right, you’ll be able to see motorcycles parked outside of Drifters. Ohh baby!

Ok, yeah, we know. Unless you’re either an owner of a vintage motorcycle or a vintage motorcycle enthusiast, this probably isn’t a big deal to you. Or a deal at all for that matter. But what if we told you that there was going to be a free outdoor show featuring the likes of Heavy Cream, Turbo Fruits and Useless Eaters? Yeah, that’s what we thought. Hans Condor and Double Barrell, who we’re just going to assume is this band with the sweet Tripod page, are playing as well.

We’re not entirely sure when the bands are going to start playing or what any of the other info is, aside from “it’s happening at Drifters” and “motorcycles are cool,” but this thing is supposed to kick off at noon and run until 8 p.m. So here’s an Evan P. Donohue song about a Kawasaki Sidewinder in lieu of facts:

Teehee.

What happens when you decide to skip the art crawl? This sort of thing does. Parked outside of The Arts Company on 5th North near the Dollar General were these two dudes, dressed to the Robin Williams nines and juggling fire. A unicycle was also involved, which spun out of control and many people were killed (not really, but wine was nearly spilled and that’s about as tragic). More photos of juggling and art are on Flickr.

// Photo by Lance Conzett.

It’s been a minute since we last raved about Casa Castile, a project by one-man-band Andrew Nabuco, who released his debut EP back in 2010. To recap: Casa plays dreamy bedroom pop that sounds like Animal Collective if Animal Collective weren’t kinda annoying (that’s right, we said it). The latest release dropped at a rock block release show last night and has been put on Bandcamp for digital consumption. Enjoy it:

Last week I nearly payed 14 of my hard-earned dollars to see a silly superhero movie in the third dimension. Fourteen dollars! That’s like a gallon and a half of gas in this Mad Max dystopia we’ve found ourselves living in. Thank god for programs like Movies in the Park and their constant efforts to prevent us from spending money on a Kate Hudson movie.

Movies in the Park is a weekly free movie held outdoors in, you guessed it, a park. Go ahead and boot up iCal, you’re going to want to take note of this. Every Wednesday in June (weather permitting), a new movie will be screened at dusk in the Centennial Park bandshell. Though the movie is free, vendors will be on hand to sell you food, including beloved food truck The Grilled Cheeserie and somewhat irritating (stop thanking me for tipping you, it’s weird!) burrito mavens Moe’s Southwest Grill.

Without further ado, here’s the line-up:

June 1 – 500 Days of Summer
June 8 – Harry Potter – latest one!
June 15 – Sherlock Holmes (new version)
June 22 – Despicable Me
June 29 – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (the non-edited version)

We’re just gonna go ahead and assume that by “latest one,” they mean Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part 1, and not the movie that Warner Bros. would very much like for you to pay to see. Preferably with the blood of your firstborn child. We’ll be at Bonnaroo for that one, but just try and stop us from catching Ferris Bueller for, roughly, the seven billionth time.

Good news, Nashville and the two readers who stuck it out during out long radio silence (thanks Mom!): we’re back! -Ish! Michelle is celebrating her graduation on an island somewhere but we’re ramping back up to start blogging our way into your hearts and minds starting today. And damn, did we pick a good week to do it.

In case you don’t regularly read pseudo-news aggregator websites run by wealthy ladies living in New York, The Daily Beast decided through some kind of complicated mathematic voodoo that Nashville is the most sober city in the United States of America. I know, right? Clearly they didn’t see us at The Villager on Lance’s birthday, where they dare you to drink a pitcher full of beer from a dog bowl. Nor have they experienced the moonshine that magically appeared in one of our fridges one day (we won’t say which). The only reasoning we can come up with is that those teatotalers in Smyrna are besmirching our good name in Nashville. We’re calling you out Smyrna! You too, La Vergne! Don’t make us come down there!

In any case, bars across Nashville are joining forces with Yelp in a crass cross-promotional effort with Yelp’s Yelp Drinks promotion. But it’s the good kind of crass cross-promotional effort that gets us cheap drinks, not the one that interrupts our weekly viewing of Chuck with borderline perverse descriptions of Subway sandwiches. For the rest of the week, several bars around town will be offering crazy drink specials, like $2 Dos Perros at Tin Roof or whatever a “Tex Ram-Punch-Tious” is at Mercy Lounge.

There’s way too much info to cram into one blog post (much less our grand return post), but you can find all of the deals on Yelp’s blog. Might we suggest the party at Mercy Lounge on Tuesday? If you don’t feel like walking half a mile from Yazoo, at least come for Rock & Roll Team Trivia. The one of us who isn’t on an island will be there and if  you’re one of the first 100 people in the door, you get $1 Yazoo.

If you have any questions, feel free to consult this video that Lance was cut out of. Warning: it involves Tex Rambunctious in shorts. The horror.

Buddy Holly wants his suit back....

When I was senior in high-school, my father predicted that the fashion of the 80′s was going to make a resurgence. I scoffed and told him there was no way, man, that the 80′s were coming back into vogue. That was unthinkable. Yet he insisted that it was happening. (What the hell did he know about fashion? He was just an old man who sported Levi Jeans and a beat up Carhartt jacket. I was 18-freaking-years-old and knew what  “cool” was with my raver pants, army trench coat, aviator glasses and long hair.)

Yet the older I’ve become, I watch in  horror and disdain as his prediction comes true and kids today sport gigantic, multi-colored Ray-Ban glasses and day-glo windbreakers like vapid fashion zombies released from some sort of horrible rift in time. It’s another confirmation that my father, in fact, knows what the hell he’s talking about, which is always a humbling blow to a young man’s ego.

…I’ll nip this angsty tirade in the bud, but I do want to make this point: I don’t care how ironic you’re trying to be hipster kids, your fashion, among other things, bothers me. It really shouldn’t, but it does. Wearing clothes circa 1985 is not being original, it just means you’ve perused too many thrift stores looking for this crap. Some of this clothing is sort of like getting visually raped by neon colors and geometric patterns, and yet you don it for some vain reason or another.

(Phew. I feel better now. Moving on.)

That said, Flashback Vintage Clothing and Costuming at 2204 Elliston Place is going out of business and is having a massive sale, slashing prices like a cat-hating Samurai at the animal shelter. The store actually has a wide range of clothes and accessories – in decent condition too, not only can you find a three piece suit, you can find the bowling shoes and a derby hat to go with it! Plus,you’d be supporting a soon-to-be-gone local business, which I think we all can agree is a good and worthwhile cause. The owner told me that she hopes to close up shop by early May, so hop on yer scooter and shuffle yer’ loafer-wearin’ asses down there and purchase you some brightly-colored polyester! Give me an unnecessary stress ulcer! (Hey, that sorta rhymed.)

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22) – Hey Virgo! Long time, no….good lord! What the hell happened to you? It looks like you’ve been hog tied in a basement and surviving on a diet of mice and old fruit preserves. What’s that? You were having a few drinks with Aquarius, when all of a sudden you found yourself in a ball gag and gimp suit and chained to the wall? That rascal. Hopefully it was nothing like this.

Whoo. Helluva way to spend a week. Look at the bright side – you finally found the perfect outfit for the Judas Priest concert!

Awww, buddy. If only you had some opposable thumbs....

TAURUS (April 20 -May 20) –  I gotta be honest, your hypothetical questions are starting to kind of get old: The laws of gravity are not going to suddenly end tomorrow. A tree falling in a forest does make a noise. If you close your eyes, I’m still right here in front of you. Yep. Still here. I think it’s about time you start focusing on the NOW and the REAL instead of entertaining your fantastical queries…Plus, everybody knows that Iggy Pop with a jet pack would totally kick zombie Steve McQeen’s ass. There’s just no two ways about it – he’s a street walking cheetah with a jet pack full of napalm, man!

CANCER (June 21 – July 22) –  I know you’re going to “see a man about a horse,” but you really shouldn’t “put all your eggs in one basket.” The “word ’round the campfire” is that “certain people” aren’t “on the up and up,” and you may get “burned” if you don’t “play it cool” and “have your eyes peeled.”

But, y’know, don’t quote me on that.