Are you a maniac willing to sleep in a parking lot for free chicken? Do you not mind supporting an organization that actively funds legislation to ban gay marriage? Good news! A new Chick-Fil-A is opening!

Not doing anything Friday night? How about a free show with Nikki Lane and William Tyler at the Basement? How about a free show with free food? BAM, SOLD.

We like our processed meats like we like our coffee: free and full of things that will probably kill us. Wait, what?

Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams is offering free scoops during their sneak preview event on June 23.

Sound the alarms, Chipotle is giving away BOGO coupons for burritos! Watch a commercial for some dumb show and get hooked up, y’all.

Seth Graves is a writer, a filmmaker, a musician and an irrepressible lover of free food. In the inaugural “Gravy Train Report,” Graves takes on Next Big Nashville’s opening night party at The Hutton Hotel.

Learn from my mistakes, don’t go to the Christian* rock show at Grimey’s to get free barbecue if they’ve been doing the “pre-order the album to get an assured spot at the show” thing. It’s not going to work out for you.